I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
