She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
