Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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