He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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