The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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