i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
