I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
