I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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