I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize