that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
