We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
