I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
