i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
