This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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