I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I need water and some morals
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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