4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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