god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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