what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
