i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
