ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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