Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize