That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
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