i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
