i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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