Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
