In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
