What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
