I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
