help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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