he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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