I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I still have a little drunk in my system
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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