i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Can you repeat that, but with context?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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