I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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