I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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