You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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