You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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