Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
