You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize