yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
