found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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