dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
