my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
