that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
