did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
