I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
