i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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