Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
