I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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