I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
