whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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