just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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