It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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