I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
