I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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