FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
