Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
