Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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