we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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