East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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