I cannot find my penis.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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