is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
