Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
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