p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
